A Year of Writing to Uncover the Authentic Self (2021)
Lesson 3: What is Missing?

What is missing? What a question!

I’ve re-visited this chapter 3 times already and the answer keeps changing. Naturally this makes this chapter quite a fascinating one for me.

Not something I was necessarily anticipating, yet certainly very interesting to venture into.

 

Lesson Format

In and of itself, this lesson was pretty short in the description side, however, pretty long as a whole.

It had a short paragraph at the top which asked you to review your life (or lack thereof) in the areas of health, relationships, family, community, work, spirituality, fun, environment, finances, personal growth, etc.

Then it gave you a set of questions/prompts to guide your writing and off it sent you to do some journaling.

Unlike with other chapters though, this one had TWO sections.

The tops section asked what I would class as more “direct” questions regarding your life and what you feel is missing in it.

The second section, was more around indirect experiences in life and how you felt you fit into it as a whole.

Quite an interesting approach – provoking some interesting reflections over time too.

 

My Experience

It’s funny because when I first started this course, I saw this chapter’s name in the index and felt some resistance towards it. Despite the fact it wasn’t even time to start yet!

At that point in time there was definitely a lot in life I felt was missing.

I was in a job that was literally sucking the soul out of me some days. Someone I had romantic interests in also turned out to be a terribly toxic match, making things feel rough in the love department too.

Nevertheless, financially, I had what I needed, so that felt like a blessing. Additionally, I also had some people I was meeting regularly who were slowly but surely growing into close friends. Something I couldn’t thank the universe enough for.

However, I was definitely still feeling like I was missing things in my life to be happy.

Then Life Happened!

Fast forward a couple of months to when I first started writing for this chapter and the picture looked different again.

Somehow I had worked my way into a space where I felt like all was in place again. I had overcome an important barrier at work that gained me respect for my work and some well-deserved apologies.

My toxic match and I had come to an agreement that we were better off as friends and would invest accordingly as such, bringing some much needed peace.

I was trying new things, going out more and looking for the positive in each day. At that point, I felt like I wasn’t really missing anything – and believe me it felt wonderful!

Re-reading my initial draft, I felt the positive shift in energy in my words. The light and the excitement of the time!

A few months later, however, given some small and large life events that have happened since then, I can say my sentiments have shifted again slightly.

I do feel like certain elements are lacking again – but intriguingly I’m learning more and more to accept that that’s ok. Life is a rollercoaster with ups and downs – and lack comes to the party depending on the day.

The key is not getting stuck in it though!

 

The lack epiphany

As I have revisited this chapter a number of times now, I have had the opportunity to observe the shifting landscape inside myself.

It’s fascinating, isn’t it? How from one minute to the next one’s life can shift and change. All based on the small (or large) decisions that we make each day.

Reflecting on this topic of lack, I realise that there are a number of factors influencing my personal feelings (or lack of feeling) on lack in life.

I noticed that my feelings on lack in life are very often related to events that take me away from myself.

So, for example if I am acting out of line with how I feel and imagine I “should” be acting, then I will start to feel lack.

Also, if I am comparing my life to that of other people, then that can sometimes make me feel lack too. As I am imagining them to have something I don’t – which is obviously quite depressing!

Additionally, when I try to control events that I actually have no physical way of controlling (I.e. how someone else will react to a situation, or how they behave towards me) – I will also feel lack.

All very interesting observations to make.

 

Additional thoughts…

Personally, I think that the most inspiring thing about this chapter is that it made me realise that this writing exercise is by no means static.

Who I am today, is unlikely to be who I am tomorrow. What I write to day, may no longer hold true in a month from now.

Yet to pinpoint and address any feelings of lack in my life, I realised I need to learn to work in harmony with one thing:

My brain

I realised that lack is an invention.

It is created via a filter of the brain. A brain whose main job it is to provide sense and meaning to events and circumstance in your life.

A brain that can be tricked in so many ways into thinking thoughts that serve or hinder you in life.

Find a way to align your thoughts and actions and you’ll likely feel good about yourself. Then make peace with whatever happens in your day to day – and I think it’s highly unlikely that lack will find much space to play in life.

I must say I like this conclusion. Common sense, yet very profound.

So, what’s up next?

I look forward to finding out soon!