Heartbreak: it’s definitely one of life’s most challenging changes.
Depending on how deeply one’s feelings were involved, one may be able to feel recovered from a breakup in a day, a week or a month. However, in the worst cases it may take many months or even years to fully recover from the ordeal.
Having recently gone through this life-changing event myself, I can truthfully say that heartbreak is not something I would wish on my worst enemy. When it hits hard it is painful and disruptive in the worst ways imaginable – especially when you are convinced you are in love and not simply involved in an infatuation.
It can affect your mind, your body, your soul – by interrupting sleeping patterns, eating patterns, exercise patterns, socialising patterns. It can interrupt work as well when you cannot focus or concentrate on even the simplest of tasks and/or you feel like crying at any given moment that you can’t seem to control.
Even though it may not seem like it now though, there will eventually come a day when it will all come to an end. But…you need to realise that it is up to you to put in the work to get to that point as swiftly and healthily as possible.
If you let the pain consume you, instead of grow you, it can and will change you and your life (and likely not in a positive way), so take care of yourself, be kind to yourself – both body, mind and spirit and make sure to give yourself the time, patience, care and resources needed to heal fully.
After the very painful dissolution of my own relationship earlier this year, I found the resources below immensely useful in the days, weeks and months following. I share these with you now in the hopes that they may bring you a small measure of comfort, knowledge and determination to succeed at envisioning a stronger, brighter and more enriching future for yourself.
Remember you are not fighting this fight alone. You will get through this – I believe in you.
- 10 Things Heartbreak Teaches You That Nothing Else Will
- 9 Steps to Conscious Healing After a Breakup or Divorce
- 6 Steps to Finding Peace After a Painful Breakup
- Here’s the Truth About Letting Him Go: You Don’t Want to, But You Must
- Creating Boundaries – Why Your Ex Should Remain Your Ex
- The Reality of Trying to Love Again When Your Heart is Broken
- This is the Moment When Your Heartbreak Will End
Getting Past Your Breakup: How to turn a devastating loss into the best thing that ever happened to you
I’m recommending this book as it’s by far the one I found most useful in my journey to recovery. Susan J. Elliott is a trained grief counsellor and has put her knowledge of the grieving process into a clearly understandable format, with workable exercises that really help you to comprehend what happened, what you’re looking for in life as well as helping to re-focus your mind’s attention back on the only person who truly matters now: YOU.
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do
This book was really useful in helping me identify what my weak spots were in the process of healing myself. I had always considered myself pretty strong mentally, which is why it also surprised me that I was hit so hard by this last breakup. However, reading through the chapters of this book made me realise I still have a lot of work to do in some areas, where others are pretty well tuned already. Definitely recommended.
Mars and Venus Starting Over: A practical guide for the newly single. How to move past the pain and start dating again
I am actually still in the process of reading this one, but from what I have read so far it’s been really useful in determining what your mind needs to go through before it can fully recover from a breakup/loss. It shows the cyclical nature of recovery in a straightforward, but compassionate way in in the classic style of Mars and Venus takes into account the differences men and women may experience throughout the process of recovery.
It’s Called a Breakup Because it’s Broken: The smart girl’s break-up buddy
Having read this now for the second time, I have to say it was a useful this time as the last. Some of the content is not necessarily want to hear at this moment in time, but nevertheless it is what you need to hear. With heartfelt personal stories included by the authors it really highlights the point that you are not the first and certainly won’t be the last to go through this experience, but that there is always hope for a much better future once the healing process is over.
Dr Seth’s Love Prescription: Overcome relationship repetition syndrome and find the love you deserve
I personally found this book to be the least useful to me as it turns out I am not really a person who repeats negative relationship traits over and over. However, I did find this very useful in highlighting what negative traits might be and creating a frame of reference from which to identify red flags early on in a relationship moving forward. I could imagine for people who do repeat though, that this book would be invaluable in helping implement positive change moving forward.